I’ve been subscribing to ‘5 Ally Actions’ - a weekly newsletter to expand out thinking on how we can all elevate our actions to improve diversity & belonging. (Wonderful newsletter - highly recommend subscribing!)

From these emails, a recurring theme that’s been playing in my mind: separating your ‘intent’ from ‘impact’.

Many of us mean well. We really do. We don’t ever intend to make someone feel small, far away, or diminished. But through layers of privilege, aloofness, ignorance — we sometimes add ‘hurt’ to people we work with, live with or love. That ‘impact’ is still very much felt for the party.

So rather than ‘excuse’ or ‘explain’ away your behavior, I’ve been attracted to the idea of ‘surrender’ and ‘acceptance’. Express your apology and regret with a full heart - and push yourself to not make the same mistake twice.

So the impact is actually left with ‘goodness’ - even if intended it to be that all along.