Demand ≠ Demean

Leadership takes many styles (e.g., servant, transformational, delegative). And everyone flourishes under different methods. One thing I’ve been thinking of is how you elevate your team — raising the standard of excellence.

How can a leader foster a culture of high performance without burning morale?

I realize there’s a healthy tension to build greatness. As a leader, you can expect a high bar (demand), but you must never resort to cutting someone down (demean).

Something along the lines of this:
"We want to get to X, and I know you can get there. I believe in you—you’re great at ABC. What can we do to get there? And how can I help?”

What language have you (or a leader you admired) used to strike the right balance?

I Will Prepare

One of my all-time favorite quotations is from Abraham Lincoln: “I will prepare, and someday my chance will come.”

When Lincoln was young, he shared an interest in becoming President with a neighbor. The neighbor scoffed and laughed it off.

Lincoln quietly mentioned that the day may not arrive, but he’ll be prepared if it does. Wild to think that five decades later, he achieved his goal. Yes, a great deal of luck, timing & circumstance made it happen — but the overarching statement rings true.

He created better luck. It was a product of deliberate and consistent effort—patiently working for an opportunity that would not arise for many years.

It resonates with me. Rehearsal is your reality. The mind doesn’t distinguish between imagination and experience. So when you study, practice, and prepare, you’re living your future in advance. And when the moment comes, you are ready.

Zest

Today is my wife Tanvi’s birthday! I was thinking about a quality I deeply admire in her: zest.

She carries an incredible spark of enthusiasm and energy—whether it’s trying a new recipe, diving into a new book, or discovering new ways to care for her patients. Tanvi pours her talent, drive, and passion into everything she touches.

This radiance warms the hearts of so many around her. It’s wonderful to witness, and I feel lucky to be part of it. This reminded me of a beautiful quotation from author Wilferd Peterson.

“Walk with the dreamers, the believers, the courageous, the cheerful, the planners, the doers, the successful people with their heads in the clouds and their feet on the ground. Let their spirit ignite a fire within you to leave this world better than when you found it.”

Make it exist

One of my favorite aphorisms that makes me chuckle: How do you eat an elephant? … one bite at a time.

It’s a virtue that I keep coming back to. Just start. The mountain will loom in the background — and if you stare at it long enough, it’s paralyzing. It won’t get any closer without taking a step.

This week, I came across a similar concept that reminded me of this one: Just make it exist first; you can make it good later.

So true. When you are given something particularly hairy, it’s easy to push that away. If I can remember to open the blank document, add a word or two — that’s infinitely better than waiting. You can always optimize later.

Even the smallest movement breaks inertia. And any movement means momentum to keep going. That’s a huge win.

So keep that snowball rolling! ❄️

Met Cloisters

I visited the Met Cloisters a few weeks ago. It’s a branch of the Metropolitan Museum of Art devoted to the art, architecture, and gardens of medieval Europe.

I was struck by how beautiful the place was. It’s set on a hilltop in upper Manhattan with commanding views of the Hudson River — a modern monastery.

Why the name? Cloisters are covered walkways surrounding a central open courtyard or garden. They served as a quiet, contemplative space for monks to meditate & study.

Here’s what's amazing: Art collector George Barnard brought actual 800-year-old monastery fragments from France and Spain and reassembled them in NYC in 1938.

The atmosphere was quite divine—tranquil gardens surrounded by stained glass, tapestries, manuscripts, and metalwork.

Highly recommend a visit — a hidden gem in NYC!

What if you fly?

I was preparing for a big meeting this week. And I could feel the doubt creeping in... a worry weed that was starting to seed. Am I ready?

If left unattended, this whisper swells into a din. And I get in my own way and don’t deliver as intended.

Before the meeting, I was reflecting on a poem that I like:

What if I fall? Oh, but my darling…what if you fly?

I need to be my strongest advocate. And reclaim the narrative where I can assume the best — but be ready for the worst!

A phrase I come back to a lot: Everything you need is already inside you.

Intelligence on Tap

We’re all learning how to weave AI thoughtfully into our lives. Every week, someone shares a use case that stuns me → “Wow, that’s pretty nifty!”

It’s wild to know we have intelligence on tap.

I use two AI tools: ChatGPT and Google Gemini. ChatGPT for quick questions and Gemini for longer-form thinking. Here are a few ways:

• Trip planning: Build custom itineraries based on preferences.

• Contract review: Review legal documents (e.g., lease, forms) to find any issues

• Health analysis: Give advice tailored to my bio markers & lab reports.

• Coaching: Talking through career plans & tricky situations.

• Fashion Advice (yes!): Feedback on how outfits look (and why)

It’s stunning to consider the breadth of how AI can help. One caveat: I need to be careful not to outsource all critical & creative thinking. That’s decidedly human.

How are you using AI in your life? 🤖

The Messy Middle

When I come home from work, I usually flop on the couch. Time to rot! But… my brain hasn’t fully turned off from work. And I tend to pick up my phone and look at email or Slack.

So even if my body is trying to decompress, my brain isn’t. And I realize this is the worst of both worlds — I’m not doing quality work nor am I resting. The messy middle.

I was reflecting this week that I need to be more mindful of my mental state. It’s time to try doing one thing at a time. Some of the places I’m experimenting:

• Exercise: Focus only on my music & lifting. Try not to check anything else — including texts, Instagram, or asking AI a question.

• TV: When watching a show, focus on finishing the whole episode. Truly enjoy it instead of multitasking.

• Meals: When eating alone, try to enjoy one meal without watching YouTube or multitasking. Savor each bite!

Hopefully, this can alleviate some of the anxiety in between. How do you approach this?

If your mind is...

Our brain can be such a friend or foe. If it’s struggling, everything suffers. Can we do anything about it? Maybe more than we think.

I came across this post that struck a chord:

In our day, there are natural ebbs and flows that affect our brain energy. But there are also solutions that are simpler than we think (plus free and accessible!)

So rather than fight it, accept our current state and harness the right one.

Cooks vs. Chefs

I’ve always been a plodding participant in the kitchen. My skills have marginally grown in the years (I don’t need a video to show me how to cut an onion!), but I am definitely a recipe follower.

I spend a lot of time reading the ingredients and directions before starting. By definition, I’m a cook.

On the opposite spectrum? My wife Tanvi. She is excellent at opening the fridge, seeing what’s there, and making something delicious. By definition, a true chef.

It made me reflect on the elevation of skills. You can get technically great at something through repetition. But to become a virtuoso? That takes a combination of mastery plus innovation.

P.S. I’m lucky to be a recipient of her talents! 😃

Let Them

I finished an interesting book this week: Let Them by Mel Robbins.

The main message is to stop trying to control other people. By letting people do what they are already going to do, you can set healthier boundaries and reclaim more peace.

It reframes many situations—family, work, friendships—in which you can loosen your grip and shift focus on what you can control.

Some interesting tidbits I took away:

• Believe what people show you. Watch carefully for patterns of behavior, not words. Actions are the true currency of how people care about you.

• Loving someone may mean letting them struggle. When a loved one is going through hard times, give them belief in themselves—not a lifeline to fix their problems. Reinforce their strength to get through it.

• No one else’s wins are your losses. It’s easy to peek at our neighbor’s success and feel bad about ourselves. Look deeper into the emotion; envy is not to make you feel inferior but what’s possible.

As a people-pleaser, it’s a big shift in my thinking. A conscious choice from outcome control → self control. Let them be. And let me be me.

“God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.”

Grassroots Grocery

I volunteered last weekend at an incredible non-profit in NYC: Grassroots Grocery.

The organization brings fresh, healthy food directly to communities that need it most. They collect 15,000 lbs of surplus produce and deliver it to 25+ neighborhoods, feeding 1,200 families weekly.

The founder Dan Zauderer, who was a middle school teacher in the Bronx, discovered that one in four of his students were facing food insecurity. This inspired him to create a movement that brings the pantry directly to the people—centered on joy, dignity, and human connection. Neighbors helping neighbors to drive out hunger.

Absolutely inspiring! And I was equally impressed by how organized it was—clear communication and a smooth, efficient process for volunteers.

Just a wonderful reminder to myself on the power of service. A little can go such a long way.

Maestros & the Machines

I visited a museum this week: Mercer Labs. The space features amazing installations that blend art and tech in bold, immersive ways.

What I found fascinating is that it reimagines classical art with the aid of technology—machine learning, algorithms, holographic projections, and 4D sound. It asks a question: What if the great maestros of the past—from Mozart and Da Vinci to Hokusai—might have created with today’s tech?

Artist Roy Nachum, the founder of the museum, writes: “Maestros and the Machines is not about the collision of past and future. It is about the space they create when they move together. Here, art is not just preserved; it is immortal.”

It made me reflect on how humans will always make beauty—even if our tools & tech shift.

High agency learning

Do you remember “required reading”? During school summers, we had to force ourselves to read a certain number of books before the year started.

I remember thinking: why are we so focused on volume? Where is the fun in that?

That’s why this post by George Mack resonated: high agency learning. He writes: “I had left the education system. But the education system had not left me.”

The idea is that now that we’re adults, we can pursue learning based on curiosity, not obedience. Instead of grinding through content start to finish, we can skip the fluff, build our own path, and get what we need.

The big shift? Realizing that books, videos, and podcasts exist to serve us—not the other way around. So learn like an eagle - hunt what matters. Learn on your terms!

Urge surfing

Listening this week to my favorite podcast LifeKit, I heard an interesting concept of retraining our brain around cravings, especially phone usage.

Bomechanist Katie Bowman and clinical psychologist Dr. Diana Hill discuss the idea of urge surfing.

Urges are like waves that rise and fall, and by paying attention to the sensation of the urge in your body, you can learn to ride it out until it subsides. Focus on the feeling, let it pass, and redirect with movement—stretch, squat, or dance.

Interesting! For me, I found that if I can take on a small activity—usually writing—I can surf these waves better. What helps you manage your urges?

Gifts to Me

Life can be a swirl, and many days you feel like you’re just hanging on — so many competing priorities banging on your door.

Can we ever stay ahead? One thing I was thinking about this week is the idea of “gifts to me”.

Making the bed in the morning is a gift to night me, or starting the dishwasher is a gift to day me. Little presents that let you sigh in relief.

What gifts do you give yourself?

Zidele Amathambo

Yesterday was my Amma’s birthday! One of her exceptional qualities is her commitment to service. She takes care of every person that crosses her path.

It reminds me of a Ndele phrase from South Africa: Zidele Amathambo. It means “give yourself completely, even your bones.” 

Whether in love, community, or purpose, Zidele Amathambo invites us to show up fully—not just with effort, but with soul.

Amma lives this in her daily practice. She immerses herself in her community, sharing her love to lift everyone up.

My Amma inspires me: don’t hold back. Live with intention & open your heart. 💟

The Empire City

I visited a fantastic museum: The Museum of the City of NY. It showcases New York City’s history, culture, and evolution.

Living in NYC, I take the sheer scale and breadth for granted. It began as a Dutch trading post in 1624 and became a world behemoth.

The museum chronicles the four pillars that make the soul of the City:

• Money: A global hub for finance, opportunity, and hustle.

• Diversity: A rich mix of cultures that fuels tolerance and tension.

• Density: Crowded streets fuel both stress and innovation.

• Creativity: Constantly reinvents itself through bold ideas.

Seeing these forces play out in real time can be awe-inspiring. Yes, it can be overstimulating at times, but I know I’ll fondly look back at this time in the Big Apple. A quotation from G. W. Stevens:

“New York… uncouth, formless, piebald, chaotic, it yet stamps itself upon you as the most magnificent embodiment of titanic energy and force.”

Notice Walks

When I commute, I use my phone… a lot. Catching up on news, messages, calls, posts, etc.

And on some days, I realize it just adds fuel to the fire of my day. (Not to mention, a few bumps from missing a step on the sidewalk…)

As I was walking home the other day, I was reminded of the idea of just… noticing. I’m fortunate to live in an extremely vibrant city — there is no shortage of things to see in NYC.

A new restaurant opening. A funny sign on the street. A new bed of flowers. My goodness, there’s a lot— only when I just looked up.

So I’m trying out a new thing: Notice Walks. Once a week during my commute, I do that… notice what’s around and give my full attention to the surroundings.

Rewiring my attention to the world unfolding around me. Time to take notice!

More Free

Hello from our honeymoon! Tanvi and I are enjoying the beautiful sand and surf of Turks & Caicos.

This week, I was thinking about freedom in relationships. The best ones are the ones that help you become more free, not less.

Free to dream big. Free to wander and wonder. And free to be yourself. The best advice I got on partnership: find the person who fills you with peace.

Here’s to keeping free and peaceful for a lifetime!