I live alone for the first time in my adult life.

And wow — it’s been a huge shift in the way I think, act, and feel. Time and space move differently when you’re with yourself for extended periods.

But I’ve been thinking about the idea that if you are alone doesn’t mean you are lonely.

It’s a matter of framing. The story we tell ourselves counts so much on how we feel about it. We have full agency to treat our quiet time with meaning. (Not easy in practice.)

One of my favorite podcasts LifeKit shared an insight here: When we feel lonely, it's because our desire for company exceeds our ability to find it. If our desire for solitude exceeds our ability to find it, we can also struggle with feelings of discomfort.

Maggie Nelson writes thoughtfully in her poem: “I have been trying, for some time now, to find dignity in my loneliness. Loneliness is solitude with a problem.”

So take your space. Being alone doesn’t have to feel alone.