It’s tough to get negative feedback.

I’ve been in scenarios when I “see red” — feeling defensive and annoyed. My fury gets the better of me, and I lash out. And any sort of amenable resolution immediately breaks down.

What can we do? I heard this adage that made me reflect: Be curious.

It’s almost a meditative reminder to collect ourselves before the emotions bubble up. A simple way to pause, breathe, and ask: “Tell me more.”

Acknowledge a rise is happening and take a time-out. “Hey, can I come back to you in a little? I feel myself getting irritated.” And then using the extra time to de-escalate and process — whatever that means (writing it out, taking a shower, getting a snack.)

If we take on the attitude of discovery vs anger, it may lead to softer, gentler outcomes.