This week, I was thinking about two concepts: 1) disagreements and 2) changing minds. As someone who bristled against conflict, I’ve searched for ways to disagree and feel safe.

I’ve been drawn to how Adam Grant, an organizational psychologist, frames this thinking. One of his tips is to believe this thesis: Your ideas don’t make your identity.

When disagreeing with someone, we can ask better questions to make it safer: Is there a time you didn't hold this perspective? Would you be open to hearing an alternate view?

And through this process, our point of view can switch — even to the opposite side. And that’s okay. What’s key to remember: just because you changed your mind doesn’t mean you’re abandoning your principles.

A good reminder: the goal is not to prove ourselves but to improve ourselves.