I recently finished 8 Rules of Love by Jay Shetty and enjoyed it a lot. It was an instructive read on how to practice and nurture love.

Here are some insights that I appreciated:

• There’s a ‘you’ before, a ‘you’ during, and a ‘you’ after every relationship. Spend time in solitude developing a relationship with yourself. Learn your own needs, boundaries, and triggers — and practice self-soothing and self-supporting. We don’t want to treat our partners like human Advil to restore us.

• We all want to grow old together, but we forget to give significance to the growing part. Aim to look at your +1 as a guru, not a god. Work with your partner to understand their goals and what they need to get there. But remember: wanting to help should not be confused with wanting to control. Don’t force your timeline on them for their goals. You want a partnership, not ownership.

• The only successful argument is when we both win. When dealing with conflict, the goal is not to score a victory. Every time one of you loses, you both lose. Every time the problem loses, you both win. Understand your partner’s way of fighting and try to use PEACE (Place and Time, Expression, Anger Management, Commitment, Evolution). The best apology is changed behavior.

• The greatest way to experience love is to give it. Spreading love everywhere you go is the best way to feel more love in your life, and that’s not just with your romantic partner. Look for little areas you can ask yourself: “How can I give love today?" — your capacity to love will increase tenfold. And you’ll feel the wonderful sensation of a helper’s high or giver’s glow.

And something I’ve internalized over the years: when you love someone, always tell them.

What are your tips for building healthy, happy relationships? 💖