This week, I enjoyed seeing a show with Trevor Noah.

For those who may not know, he’s a South African comedian, writer, and former host of The Daily Show— born to a black Xhosa mother and a white Swiss-German father during apartheid.

I’ve been drawn to his worldview. He recently published a children’s book: Into the Uncut Grass.

During the show, he mentioned a few things that resonated:

• We don’t spend enough time telling children why. Parents typically resort to “I know better” or “Because I said so”… which can create rifts. He mentioned a memory he had with his younger brother, who’s 20 years younger than him:

  • When his brother dropped some dishes, Trevor scolded him, but his brother replied, “I’m younger and don’t know everything yet. You have lived more life than me and know better. If you explain calmly vs yell, it will help me grow wiser!”

• Leverage a coin flip. In a decision, the person who doesn’t get their way may leave with some resentment. Yes, they acquiesced, but it didn’t feel good. He laughed that a coin flip could be a better solution.

  • If you leave things up to a chance (e.g., picking a dinner spot or deciding on a vacation spot), both parties don’t feel slighted. There’s no one to blame except the random cosmic power of a coin!

• Choosing an easy life or difficult life. Trevor had a philosophical question for the audience. “Would you choose an easy life with no people or a hard life with people?” And his point was, in life — we don’t get to choose what happens to us, but we do get to (generally) choose with whom we do it.

  • Continue to spend time tending to your garden of relationships. It’s not worth it to have everything at the cost of everyone.

Thank you Trevor for a wonderful evening of perspective!