Thinking Out Loud
Hello from our honeymoon! Tanvi and I are enjoying the beautiful sand and surf of Turks & Caicos.
This week, I was thinking about freedom in relationships. The best ones are the ones that help you become more free, not less.
Free to dream big. Free to wander and wonder. And free to be yourself. The best advice I got on partnership: find the person who fills you with peace.
Here’s to keeping free and peaceful for a lifetime!
Today is extra special. Tanvi and I are getting married!
The most wonderful gift of a wedding is being in a room together with endless love. And we are fortunate to have the company of so many kind, amazing, lovely people.
I’ve been thinking a lot about this next chapter in our lives. And I saw this quote from author Jennifer Smith:
“Marriage is a mosaic you build with your spouse. Millions of tiny moments that create your love story.”
Today is a big day — and it’ll be exceptional. But what comforts me are the small days ahead, too.
Where love doesn’t need to shout to be heard. And every piece fits together to become beautiful. 💌
When I overthink, it’s easy to magnify. My brain goes into overdrive: the sky is falling, the world is burning, and it’s the end as we know it. Dramatic, yes…
As I’ve been working on how to cut the loop, one reframe I was reflecting on: 99% vs 1%.
Even when things feel wrong (the 1%), other things are going right (the 99%). Blessings hidden in plain sight: health, home, family & friends.
So when it feels overwhelming, a reminder to myself that it’s isolated. And there’s a high chance that most things are working just fine.
Another week, another inspiration. This time from author & artist Austin Kleon.
He writes a great post & poem about friendship. He shares that people aren’t looking for friends, but intimacy with friends. A real connection? It requires consistency, positivity, and vulnerability.
There’s a lovely stanza in his poem: “Give your friends the keys to your house for safekeeping; then forget your keys all the time.” What a beautiful saying. To me, this line is about immutable trust between friends — built thoughtfully over time.
Giving your “keys” to your house (your heart & soul) is an acceptance & release. “You got me, and I got you.” You willingly give away full control — knowing your people will protect, watch, and care for everything you hold dear.
And if you ever forget your “keys” — a heavy heart weighed by fear and doubt — that wonderful friend will be there. Always waiting for you to give them back.
I read a newsletter from investor & founder: Andrew Wilkinson.
He wrote an interesting take: “Most things that make you miserable are derived from luck. How is this stress lucky?” See below for the full thought.
If there’s chaos in your life—crazy work, chaotic household—you have also been given a blessing in disguise. Intense job? You have been given luck to earn this job. Parenting battles? You have been given luck to raise healthy children.
Now, feeling overwhelmed with the stress is totally okay—no need to push it down. But a good reminder that I continue to think about: isn’t it amazing you get to do things in life (not just have to do it)?
Over the years, I find that people drift into two categories: Futurists, who dream of what’s to come, or Nostalgists, who dwell on what once was. (And an enlightened few who are Pragmatists, who focus on the now).
I am definitely a Nostalgist — and I often daydream about memories in my past. I look at old photos and videos with a twinge of bittersweetness, thinking: “Man, those were the good old days…”
And that can be a slippery slope. The more I get lost in thought, the less I spend time appreciating what’s in front of me. This week, I was thinking about how I can reallocate my thinking. One thing came to mind — the future me in a decade will look back at today, and say “those were the good old days”.
Time is so relative. Yes, they say youth is wasted on the young, but I also remember having fears and doubts years ago that I don’t have today. And in the future, the things I worry about today may be minuscule.
The good old days are… today! We just may not have the perspective to connect the dots.
I came across an interesting video featuring Dr. Arthur Brooks, a Harvard professor and social scientist.
He writes: "Happiness is a direction, not a destination. Don’t work on being happy, let’s work on getting happier. It’s more than a feeling, but a skill to practice.”
This was a fresh way of framing this concept. Growing up, I felt that happiness was a result of my life falling into place. If I achieved X, then I would be rewarded with Y.
As life naturally ebbed and flowed, it became harder to hold onto this concept. And as I grow older, I’m coming to understand Dr. Brooks’ sentiment better: happiness is a muscle that can be trained. Of course, it’s a journey that’s very personal, gradual, and doesn’t look the same for everyone.
My best way? Embracing gratitude as fully as possible. Utter appreciation of the beauty around me. How do you direct yourself?
I finished watching Court of Gold, a docuseries that follows Team USA’s quest for basketball gold at the 2024 Paris Olympics, facing rivals like France, Serbia, and Canada.
Fantastic show. I still get chills watching the end of the Gold medal game between USA and France — where Steph Curry put on a 3-point masterclass to get us to the top of the podium. A pinch-me moment to watch the Avengers—Curry, Durant, James—all on the same floor.
One of the phrases that Durant shared stuck with me. He talks about the concept of "Just Us" — a mantra that was born during his championship seasons with the Warriors. It was a rallying cry that united the team through their grittiest times.
It made me reflect on the idea of how small, focused groups can be a deadly force. If a team can believe in each other (trust), plus connect all their skills (talent), then a dominating alchemy can form. 🏀
We saw a wonderful film this week: A Nice Indian Boy.
It stars Karan Soni as Naveen, an Indian American, who brings home a white boyfriend named Jay (Jonathan Groff) to his traditional Indian family.
It’s a fantastic story that effortlessly weaves between themes of belonging, identity, expectations, and stereotypes. Growing up South Asian, it filled me with emotion — as many of us grappled with what “nice” and “Indian” meant.
I left the movie thinking about two things. 1) love is boundless and 2) parents might surprise you when given the chance to grow.
My favorite scene was when Naveen’s dad, Archit, and Jay cook dinner together. Archit is a man of few words and struggles with his feelings towards the situation. Eventually, their connection grows. Archit says that his son Naveen has always been able to recognize beauty in the world, and he now sees so much beauty in Jay.
Highly recommend a watch! Congrats to the director Roshan Sethi for his great work.
There are days I’m in absolute awe of people. Their skills are fantastic, their presence is unmatched, and their talent feels boundless.
And at times, that awe is mixed with pangs of envy. You feel green as you yearn—“Why not me?” or “How did they get that?” It’s a negative emotion that can be consuming and corrosive.
One small change I’ve been trying is shifting my perspective from jealousy to admiration. When I feel the bitterness bubbling up, I reframe my thinking: What do I admire about this person?
Then I take it a step further and tell them: “I admire [X trait] about you a lot—would you be open to sharing any tips or advice?”
It’s done wonders for releasing the pressure valve. And I’ve found that many talented people are also benevolent. Sharing our gifts lifts everyone up! ⬆️
I was thinking of a quotation Michelle Obama referenced in her book The Light We Carry.
It was a quote about friendship from novelist Toni Morrison, paraphrased here: “Friendship takes the pieces of me and gives them back in the right order.”
What a beautiful sentiment. A good friend can accept whatever version of you shows up — no matter how messy. And they’ll quietly sit with you, unpacking everything piece by piece, until you feel sorted again.
It’s a blessing to be loved like that. Grateful for those in my corner! 🙏
I was reflecting this week on having a personal board of directors (BoD). Every corporation has a board to guide the CEO and steer the company to success. Can it be applied to personal life?
A group of trusted loved ones who provide advice, share unconditional support, and challenge your thinking. And of course, celebrate your wins and recognize successes!
All in service to help you become the best version of yourself. If you want to go fast, go alone; if you want to go far, go together. Who’s on your board? 🤝
I turn 35 today! A good moment to reflect on the midpoint of my thirties. Endless gratitude for what this life has given me so far.
35 in numerology encourages creative exploration, embracing change, and enjoying life’s adventures.
Some reflections entering this year:
Remember yourself. As I get older, I am spending more time noticing—noticing what lifts me up, what pulls me down, where my energy crests and falls. Demands and forces only grow from here, so a question: what am I doing to return to center? Am I living my truth?
Some kind of wonderful. I am excited to marry Tanvi in a few months. Not only because she’s lovely in so many ways; but also simply because we have a wonderful friendship—filled with equal parts silly and serious. What a beautiful treat to come home to a partner where you can just “be”. A reminder to protect this space and keep it safe.
All we need. When the dust settles, what we needed was not far from home. A sound body, a calm mind, and a house full of love. After that, it’s cherries and whipped cream. So in moments of stress, despair or doubt—I need to ask myself: what am I really chasing?
As always, I am forever thankful for those on the road with me. Y’all make the moments magic 🪄 To many more years together!
I’ve been thinking about some of my all-time greats: Buffett, Spielberg, Jordan, Angelou.
Masters of their craft. Pouring decades to reach the peak of achievement. All are meticulous about practice, discipline, and learning.
To become a master, I often return to the idea of flow state. When you’re focused, energized, and immersed— skills can exponentially catalyze. Total absorption: where you lose track of time because you can’t help yourself.
For my goals, I want to continue to find pockets to harness this. Where have you found your flow?
When I face thorny issues, so much of my time and energy goes to: “How does this happen?"
I’m learning to shift gears to “Is it in my control?” Difficult lesson to practice. The universe is random & erratic; it’s a fool’s errand to feel like we can exert influence.
I liked this framing from two Stanford professors—Dave Evans and Bill Burnett—in their book Designing Your Life on gravity problems.
“Gravity problems” are obstacles or contrary forces you can’t do anything about. “If it’s not actionable, it’s not a problem; it’s a circumstance.”
Gravity is immutable; we can’t disrupt it, we can only work with. And it takes grace & humility to realize many problems are the same. Remembering the serenity prayer!
I was having coffee with my friend and former colleague, Maria, and we were chatting about our work. She’s taken an amazing role as a design leader at a healthcare startup.
She mentioned working extra hours to meet the demands of her job. I was curious how she was managing it all while avoiding burnout.
Maria had such a beautiful way of framing it: “Yes, it’s a lot of time, but it’s time well spent.”
That stuck with me. We sometimes view work and play as separate entities, assuming we only derive joy from the latter. But time will pass regardless—no matter the category.
It’s a good reminder to assess our most precious, finite resource: Am I spending my time well? If not, how can I reclaim it?
Happy Valentine’s Day! I’m reminded of a post by one of my favorite writers, Tim Urban, about choosing the right life partner.
“If we want to find a happy marriage, we need to think small. It’s built not out of anything poetic, but out of 20,000 mundane Wednesdays. Marriage isn’t the honeymoon in Thailand—it’s day four of vacation #56 that you take together. Marriage is not celebrating the closing of the deal on the first house—it’s having dinner in that house for the 4,386th time. Marriage is Forgettable Wednesday. Together.”
A beautiful sentiment. Yes, milestones are wonderful, but what truly matters is everything that comes before, during, and after—the 20,000 days in between. Making the ordinary feel extraordinary. Delight in the dullness.
So what does Urban see as the key ingredients to this magic?
An Epic Friendship – The best relationships are effortlessly fun, stimulating, and make you crave more time together.
A Feeling of Home – A great partnership feels safe, natural, and built on trust and acceptance.
Determination – Success requires effort, communication, equality, and healthy conflict resolution.
For those with partners—or those still searching for the right one—I hope your Wednesdays are just as special as the big days. 🩵
My health & fitness journey has been a winding road.
Some weeks, I can feel extraordinarily powerful — ready to take on anything! Other weeks, I feel shriveled and worn out — ready to…stay in bed.
Managing the oscillations has taken over a decade, and I still have a long way to go. I recently saw a video from a creator I follow.
He references the idea of gratitude during a workout, repeating, “Isn’t it amazing…”
Isn’t it amazing… I can move my body now — so I can hike when I’m 70.
Isn’t it amazing… I can lift heavy things now — so I can carry my kids when I’m 50.
Isn’t it amazing… I can eat clean now — so I can have energy throughout the week.
It reinforces the idea I often think about: “I have to” → “I get to.” Health is such a privilege and blessing; I need to always appreciate how my body works hard to keep me alive.
I listened to a ‘How I Built This’ podcast about Bombas — a company that has redefined a forgotten category: socks.
It was a fantastic episode in which the co-founders, David Heath and Randy Goldberg, shared reflections on how they started the company. They have now grown it to a quarter-billion-dollar business.
One incredible part of Bombas is its commitment to giving back. For every sock you buy, Bombas donates an extra pair to those in need. That's 150 million items to over 3,500 community organizations—pretty incredible.
Their value-driven mission (apart from building a durable business) made me think of the idea of staying power. Heath & Goldberg shared that during Covid - their business went from 50% growth to -12% growth. Flooded with worry, they were wondering how the team would respond. Something else happened:
“Probably one of the proudest moments I've ever had as a leader was when shut the office down the office [from Covid]; by Monday, everything was up and running. It rallied us. This is where the mission comes back. It became this moment where we can step up and distribute socks [to the community].”
What an awesome story! The whole company was lifted because of a broader purpose, and it thrives today because of that. It wasn’t just a fast success, but a lasting success.
I finished Shoe Dog this week. An awesome memoir that chronicles the journey of Nike’s co-founder Phil Knight on the path to build a global sportswear empire.
Given the heights Nike has reached, it was humbling to see Knight’s early struggles and bold decisions. For many years, things were hanging in a balance — precarious to fall apart any moment.
Near the end of the book, there’s a reflection that Phil writes that hits home:
“And those who urge entrepreneurs to never give up? Charlatans. Sometimes you have to give up. Sometimes knowing when to give up, when to try something else, is genius. Giving up doesn't mean stopping. Don't ever stop.”
We have come a long way to destigmatize missteps and setbacks: remembering you didn’t fail, you just fell.
And if a hard fall feels like giving up for a bit, that’s okay too. Life is long, and everyone needs a pivot or rest. I’m continuing to internalize this: 1% is better than 0% — as long as you continue to wake up and face the day.