Glimmers

Merry Christmas! I trust that many of you are enjoying one of life’s biggest blessings: a cozy house filled with loved ones.

As I think about gratitude this holiday season, I am reminded of the idea of glimmers.

Glimmers are tiny, everyday moments of joy, peace, or connection. A cup of chai in the morning, or a warm fire in the evening. The happy glee of a child, or the sound of relaxing music.

When you feel a positive shiver down your spine, it’s a good sign — our body is at rest. You are living in a good memory! Happy holidays to you and yours.

The Veins of the City

Last weekend, I went to the NYC Transit Museum. It showcases New York City’s transportation history with vintage subway cars, buses, artifacts, and interactive exhibits in an underground setting. It’s housed in a decommissioned subway station in Brooklyn.

As someone who takes the subway daily, it’s a marvel to hear the herculean effort it took to plan, burrow, build, and electrify this huge network. Some interesting things that stood out:

• It’s one of the world’s oldest systems at 121 years, opening in 1904, yet it still runs 24/7.

• Around 4M people ride the subway daily, hitting a billion trips since inception.

• Trains travel a combined 365+ million miles per year—far enough to reach the sun and back.

• Dynamite was essential in carving out early subway tunnels through Manhattan’s tough bedrock. Blasting happened so frequently that locals called it “the Manhattan thunder.”

• There’s a ton of underground streams; engineers had to redirect or drain before tunnels could be dug.

Still wild to me that NYC has not only a soaring skyline, but also a massive underground. Impressive engineering, to say the least.

A quote that I liked: Riding the subway is New York City in microcosm: everyone rides for the same price, regardless of age, ethnicity, religion (or any of the other things that make humans human), and can go anywhere the system goes.

The Inner Compass

I finished a lovely book from one of my favorite authors: The Inner Compass by Lawrence Yeo.

The 100-page book is a quick read. It explains how to ease inner tension by trusting yourself rather than chasing outside approval. Yeo teaches you how to face fears, build self-worth, and live more authentically.

The main thesis is that we feel lost because of the clutches of conditioning, where there’s an expectation outside of you to become something you’re not. We lose conviction in our intuition - the “magnet” that can guide us to contentment.

How do we combat this? The three principles he mentions are Reflect, Relate, and Create. Reflect to calibrate, relate to connect, create to express.

Reflect → Whenever there’s tension, there’s a tale. Look inward to understand the fears, beliefs, and patterns shaping your choices. The best tool is writing in a journal, not a diary — to examine your thoughts to ask “why”, not just “what.”

Relate → Connect with your trusted circle to gain perspective and reinforce what matters. Try not to fall into the traps of envy, but learn to accept and admire. But be careful where you solicit feedback; they should be caring and credible.

Create → Take intentional action to express yourself (art, writing, music, cooking), and commit to mastery. It gives you agency to focus on yourself — becoming a kinetic force that propels you forward.

The more we do this, the stronger our compass to guide us to a life well-lived. Yeo ends with a great sentence: “How fortunate you are to be you…”

Let it be something good

As a chronic planner, I can find my fear of the future unsettling. What will come is so uncertain that it’s easier to be lulled into the comfort of ‘what has been…'

I am trying lately to refocus on a way shorter timeline (the now) — and I remembered something I came across:

This is the beginning of a new day. You have been given this day to use as you will. You can waste it or use it for good. What you do today is important because you are exchanging a day of your life for it. When tomorrow comes, this day will be gone forever. In its place is something that you have left behind. Let it be something good.

We all intuitively know how precious life is. But the days can drift by if we continuously drown ourselves in the past and future.

A call to myself: today is a privilege. And if time is our most valuable currency, I’m exchanging a day for it. So how can it be something good?

Treat It Differently

Happy Thanksgiving! As I count my blessings — health, love, and community — I’m reminded of how wonderful yet delicate these gifts are.

This quotation made me reflect on this:

"If you want something to last forever you treat it differently. Anything precious, like an old antique or a masterpiece you take care of. You protect it, shield it. You never abuse it. You don't expose it to the elements, harsh sunlight, ferocious winds, rain.

You don't make it common or ordinary. If it ever becomes tarnished you lovingly polish it until it gleams like new, it becomes special because you have made it so, and it grows more precious, more beautiful as time goes by. "

So true. The pillars of life that bring us the most gratitude need the most effort. They require the commensurate, daily attention — it can’t be an afterthought (or decay will happen).

A Turkey Day reminder to myself: the most precious things in life become special because we have made it so.

Understanding

I saw something from Jay Shetty that I liked: People change from being understood than being corrected.

We care so deeply about our loved ones; it’s hard to see when they struggle. And our first instinct is to jump in and set them on a course of success.

But as we all realize, change starts from within. And it’s actually more helpful to be the best listener than the best lecturer.

And on more occasions, the best counsel comes from comfort.

“I’m here for you no matter what. Now, tell me how you’re really doing?”

Motion

As I continue to think about my Winter Arc, one principle I keep coming back to is motion.

Sir Isaac Newton was on to something with his First Law: “An object in motion stays in motion at the same velocity and direction; an object at rest stays at rest.”

How have I been applying it? First, start small and start early—get something moving in the morning. Second, avoid sitting down until I’ve finished most of what needs to get done.

That means getting up early to work out, and when I come home, tackling as many household tasks as possible. Once I hit the couch….I’m toast.

It’s been something I try to apply in other places too. Keep moving!

Two Things True

A concept that used to gnaw was feeling two opposite thoughts at the same time.

It felt like I had to pick one; both feelings couldn’t exist side by side. It was hard to hold space of a negative and a positive emotion together.

How can I feel frustrated and love someone in the same vein? How can I get annoyed at work but also enjoy being there?

As I got older, I realized thoughts don’t have to compete to be valid. Two things can be true. I can be upset with someone and still love them. I can feel irritated at work and still appreciate what I do.

That shift unlocked a healthier nuance — I didn’t have to think in black-and-white, grey was perfectly okay.

Winter Arc

Happy Halloween! As the days shorten, the cold settles in, and the holidays approach — so does my discipline. I find it harder to maintain a consistent routine and take care of myself. Should I hibernate until spring? Seems tempting.

But let’s be honest… not a great idea. The longer I stay sedentary, the harder it is to get back into fighting form.

That’s why this article on the Winter Arc struck a chord. The term, coined by fitness influencer Carly Berges, describes how she doubles down on her health routine before winter sets in.

Starting in the Fall, she commits to a steady sleep schedule, regular workouts, and a cleaner diet — giving herself a head start on personal growth before the new year.

What I love about this is its intentionality and honesty. It recognizes the season's slowdown while proactively adapting to it.

For us, it means using the walking pad to stay active indoors or relying on grocery delivery to keep fresh, healthy food in the house — instead of using the cold as an excuse to skip the store.

Winter is coming. How are you thinking about your own Winter Arc? ❄️

Inside Out

My parents, Anjali and Vihang Desai — whom I call Amma and Papa — celebrated their 40th wedding anniversary this week.

It's their Ruby Anniversary! The ruby is one of the most durable gemstones—a fitting symbol of the strength, resilience, and enduring nature of their four-decade marriage.

Their story has such a lovely beginning. They met by chance at a party — my dad was living in the US, and my mom was in India. After a brief conversation, my dad asked my mom to become pen pals.

For two years, they exchanged letters — sharing stories about their families, friends, thoughts, and dreams. Some letters even included little pieces of their lives, like a flower from the garden or Hindustani music they both loved.

My Amma said something that struck me: They got to know each other from the inside out — building a connection first — without ever meeting in person for some time! Most couples do it the other way around, from the “outside in,” spending time together in person.

Their relationship grew — brick by brick, letter by letter. Trust and closeness blossomed naturally, without any pressure or expectations. And here they are, 40 years later. Beautiful!

May their journey continue to flourish. 💌

Demand ≠ Demean

Leadership takes many styles (e.g., servant, transformational, delegative). And everyone flourishes under different methods. One thing I’ve been thinking of is how you elevate your team — raising the standard of excellence.

How can a leader foster a culture of high performance without burning morale?

I realize there’s a healthy tension to build greatness. As a leader, you can expect a high bar (demand), but you must never resort to cutting someone down (demean).

Something along the lines of this:
"We want to get to X, and I know you can get there. I believe in you—you’re great at ABC. What can we do to get there? And how can I help?”

What language have you (or a leader you admired) used to strike the right balance?

I Will Prepare

One of my all-time favorite quotations is from Abraham Lincoln: “I will prepare, and someday my chance will come.”

When Lincoln was young, he shared an interest in becoming President with a neighbor. The neighbor scoffed and laughed it off.

Lincoln quietly mentioned that the day may not arrive, but he’ll be prepared if it does. Wild to think that five decades later, he achieved his goal. Yes, a great deal of luck, timing & circumstance made it happen — but the overarching statement rings true.

He created better luck. It was a product of deliberate and consistent effort—patiently working for an opportunity that would not arise for many years.

It resonates with me. Rehearsal is your reality. The mind doesn’t distinguish between imagination and experience. So when you study, practice, and prepare, you’re living your future in advance. And when the moment comes, you are ready.

Zest

Today is my wife Tanvi’s birthday! I was thinking about a quality I deeply admire in her: zest.

She carries an incredible spark of enthusiasm and energy—whether it’s trying a new recipe, diving into a new book, or discovering new ways to care for her patients. Tanvi pours her talent, drive, and passion into everything she touches.

This radiance warms the hearts of so many around her. It’s wonderful to witness, and I feel lucky to be part of it. This reminded me of a beautiful quotation from author Wilferd Peterson.

“Walk with the dreamers, the believers, the courageous, the cheerful, the planners, the doers, the successful people with their heads in the clouds and their feet on the ground. Let their spirit ignite a fire within you to leave this world better than when you found it.”

Make it exist

One of my favorite aphorisms that makes me chuckle: How do you eat an elephant? … one bite at a time.

It’s a virtue that I keep coming back to. Just start. The mountain will loom in the background — and if you stare at it long enough, it’s paralyzing. It won’t get any closer without taking a step.

This week, I came across a similar concept that reminded me of this one: Just make it exist first; you can make it good later.

So true. When you are given something particularly hairy, it’s easy to push that away. If I can remember to open the blank document, add a word or two — that’s infinitely better than waiting. You can always optimize later.

Even the smallest movement breaks inertia. And any movement means momentum to keep going. That’s a huge win.

So keep that snowball rolling! ❄️

Met Cloisters

I visited the Met Cloisters a few weeks ago. It’s a branch of the Metropolitan Museum of Art devoted to the art, architecture, and gardens of medieval Europe.

I was struck by how beautiful the place was. It’s set on a hilltop in upper Manhattan with commanding views of the Hudson River — a modern monastery.

Why the name? Cloisters are covered walkways surrounding a central open courtyard or garden. They served as a quiet, contemplative space for monks to meditate & study.

Here’s what's amazing: Art collector George Barnard brought actual 800-year-old monastery fragments from France and Spain and reassembled them in NYC in 1938.

The atmosphere was quite divine—tranquil gardens surrounded by stained glass, tapestries, manuscripts, and metalwork.

Highly recommend a visit — a hidden gem in NYC!

What if you fly?

I was preparing for a big meeting this week. And I could feel the doubt creeping in... a worry weed that was starting to seed. Am I ready?

If left unattended, this whisper swells into a din. And I get in my own way and don’t deliver as intended.

Before the meeting, I was reflecting on a poem that I like:

What if I fall? Oh, but my darling…what if you fly?

I need to be my strongest advocate. And reclaim the narrative where I can assume the best — but be ready for the worst!

A phrase I come back to a lot: Everything you need is already inside you.

Intelligence on Tap

We’re all learning how to weave AI thoughtfully into our lives. Every week, someone shares a use case that stuns me → “Wow, that’s pretty nifty!”

It’s wild to know we have intelligence on tap.

I use two AI tools: ChatGPT and Google Gemini. ChatGPT for quick questions and Gemini for longer-form thinking. Here are a few ways:

• Trip planning: Build custom itineraries based on preferences.

• Contract review: Review legal documents (e.g., lease, forms) to find any issues

• Health analysis: Give advice tailored to my bio markers & lab reports.

• Coaching: Talking through career plans & tricky situations.

• Fashion Advice (yes!): Feedback on how outfits look (and why)

It’s stunning to consider the breadth of how AI can help. One caveat: I need to be careful not to outsource all critical & creative thinking. That’s decidedly human.

How are you using AI in your life? 🤖

The Messy Middle

When I come home from work, I usually flop on the couch. Time to rot! But… my brain hasn’t fully turned off from work. And I tend to pick up my phone and look at email or Slack.

So even if my body is trying to decompress, my brain isn’t. And I realize this is the worst of both worlds — I’m not doing quality work nor am I resting. The messy middle.

I was reflecting this week that I need to be more mindful of my mental state. It’s time to try doing one thing at a time. Some of the places I’m experimenting:

• Exercise: Focus only on my music & lifting. Try not to check anything else — including texts, Instagram, or asking AI a question.

• TV: When watching a show, focus on finishing the whole episode. Truly enjoy it instead of multitasking.

• Meals: When eating alone, try to enjoy one meal without watching YouTube or multitasking. Savor each bite!

Hopefully, this can alleviate some of the anxiety in between. How do you approach this?

If your mind is...

Our brain can be such a friend or foe. If it’s struggling, everything suffers. Can we do anything about it? Maybe more than we think.

I came across this post that struck a chord:

In our day, there are natural ebbs and flows that affect our brain energy. But there are also solutions that are simpler than we think (plus free and accessible!)

So rather than fight it, accept our current state and harness the right one.

Cooks vs. Chefs

I’ve always been a plodding participant in the kitchen. My skills have marginally grown in the years (I don’t need a video to show me how to cut an onion!), but I am definitely a recipe follower.

I spend a lot of time reading the ingredients and directions before starting. By definition, I’m a cook.

On the opposite spectrum? My wife Tanvi. She is excellent at opening the fridge, seeing what’s there, and making something delicious. By definition, a true chef.

It made me reflect on the elevation of skills. You can get technically great at something through repetition. But to become a virtuoso? That takes a combination of mastery plus innovation.

P.S. I’m lucky to be a recipient of her talents! 😃