High agency learning

Do you remember “required reading”? During school summers, we had to force ourselves to read a certain number of books before the year started.

I remember thinking: why are we so focused on volume? Where is the fun in that?

That’s why this post by George Mack resonated: high agency learning. He writes: “I had left the education system. But the education system had not left me.”

The idea is that now that we’re adults, we can pursue learning based on curiosity, not obedience. Instead of grinding through content start to finish, we can skip the fluff, build our own path, and get what we need.

The big shift? Realizing that books, videos, and podcasts exist to serve us—not the other way around. So learn like an eagle - hunt what matters. Learn on your terms!

Urge surfing

Listening this week to my favorite podcast LifeKit, I heard an interesting concept of retraining our brain around cravings, especially phone usage.

Bomechanist Katie Bowman and clinical psychologist Dr. Diana Hill discuss the idea of urge surfing.

Urges are like waves that rise and fall, and by paying attention to the sensation of the urge in your body, you can learn to ride it out until it subsides. Focus on the feeling, let it pass, and redirect with movement—stretch, squat, or dance.

Interesting! For me, I found that if I can take on a small activity—usually writing—I can surf these waves better. What helps you manage your urges?

Gifts to Me

Life can be a swirl, and many days you feel like you’re just hanging on — so many competing priorities banging on your door.

Can we ever stay ahead? One thing I was thinking about this week is the idea of “gifts to me”.

Making the bed in the morning is a gift to night me, or starting the dishwasher is a gift to day me. Little presents that let you sigh in relief.

What gifts do you give yourself?

Zidele Amathambo

Yesterday was my Amma’s birthday! One of her exceptional qualities is her commitment to service. She takes care of every person that crosses her path.

It reminds me of a Ndele phrase from South Africa: Zidele Amathambo. It means “give yourself completely, even your bones.” 

Whether in love, community, or purpose, Zidele Amathambo invites us to show up fully—not just with effort, but with soul.

Amma lives this in her daily practice. She immerses herself in her community, sharing her love to lift everyone up.

My Amma inspires me: don’t hold back. Live with intention & open your heart. 💟

The Empire City

I visited a fantastic museum: The Museum of the City of NY. It showcases New York City’s history, culture, and evolution.

Living in NYC, I take the sheer scale and breadth for granted. It began as a Dutch trading post in 1624 and became a world behemoth.

The museum chronicles the four pillars that make the soul of the City:

• Money: A global hub for finance, opportunity, and hustle.

• Diversity: A rich mix of cultures that fuels tolerance and tension.

• Density: Crowded streets fuel both stress and innovation.

• Creativity: Constantly reinvents itself through bold ideas.

Seeing these forces play out in real time can be awe-inspiring. Yes, it can be overstimulating at times, but I know I’ll fondly look back at this time in the Big Apple. A quotation from G. W. Stevens:

“New York… uncouth, formless, piebald, chaotic, it yet stamps itself upon you as the most magnificent embodiment of titanic energy and force.”

Notice Walks

When I commute, I use my phone… a lot. Catching up on news, messages, calls, posts, etc.

And on some days, I realize it just adds fuel to the fire of my day. (Not to mention, a few bumps from missing a step on the sidewalk…)

As I was walking home the other day, I was reminded of the idea of just… noticing. I’m fortunate to live in an extremely vibrant city — there is no shortage of things to see in NYC.

A new restaurant opening. A funny sign on the street. A new bed of flowers. My goodness, there’s a lot— only when I just looked up.

So I’m trying out a new thing: Notice Walks. Once a week during my commute, I do that… notice what’s around and give my full attention to the surroundings.

Rewiring my attention to the world unfolding around me. Time to take notice!

More Free

Hello from our honeymoon! Tanvi and I are enjoying the beautiful sand and surf of Turks & Caicos.

This week, I was thinking about freedom in relationships. The best ones are the ones that help you become more free, not less.

Free to dream big. Free to wander and wonder. And free to be yourself. The best advice I got on partnership: find the person who fills you with peace.

Here’s to keeping free and peaceful for a lifetime!

Mosaic

Today is extra special. Tanvi and I are getting married!

The most wonderful gift of a wedding is being in a room together with endless love. And we are fortunate to have the company of so many kind, amazing, lovely people.

I’ve been thinking a lot about this next chapter in our lives. And I saw this quote from author Jennifer Smith:

“Marriage is a mosaic you build with your spouse. Millions of tiny moments that create your love story.”

Today is a big day — and it’ll be exceptional. But what comforts me are the small days ahead, too.

Where love doesn’t need to shout to be heard. And every piece fits together to become beautiful. 💌

99%

When I overthink, it’s easy to magnify. My brain goes into overdrive: the sky is falling, the world is burning, and it’s the end as we know it. Dramatic, yes…

As I’ve been working on how to cut the loop, one reframe I was reflecting on: 99% vs 1%.

Even when things feel wrong (the 1%), other things are going right (the 99%). Blessings hidden in plain sight: health, home, family & friends.

So when it feels overwhelming, a reminder to myself that it’s isolated. And there’s a high chance that most things are working just fine.

Keys to your house

Another week, another inspiration. This time from author & artist Austin Kleon.

He writes a great post & poem about friendship. He shares that people aren’t looking for friends, but intimacy with friends. A real connection? It requires consistency, positivity, and vulnerability.

There’s a lovely stanza in his poem: “Give your friends the keys to your house for safekeeping; then forget your keys all the time.” What a beautiful saying. To me, this line is about immutable trust between friends — built thoughtfully over time.

Giving your “keys” to your house (your heart & soul) is an acceptance & release. “You got me, and I got you.” You willingly give away full control — knowing your people will protect, watch, and care for everything you hold dear.

And if you ever forget your “keys” — a heavy heart weighed by fear and doubt — that wonderful friend will be there. Always waiting for you to give them back.

Lucky Stress

I read a newsletter from investor & founder: Andrew Wilkinson.

He wrote an interesting take: “Most things that make you miserable are derived from luck. How is this stress lucky?” See below for the full thought.

If there’s chaos in your life—crazy work, chaotic household—you have also been given a blessing in disguise. Intense job? You have been given luck to earn this job. Parenting battles? You have been given luck to raise healthy children.

Now, feeling overwhelmed with the stress is totally okay—no need to push it down. But a good reminder that I continue to think about: isn’t it amazing you get to do things in life (not just have to do it)?

Good old days

Over the years, I find that people drift into two categories: Futurists, who dream of what’s to come, or Nostalgists, who dwell on what once was. (And an enlightened few who are Pragmatists, who focus on the now).

I am definitely a Nostalgist — and I often daydream about memories in my past. I look at old photos and videos with a twinge of bittersweetness, thinking: “Man, those were the good old days…”

And that can be a slippery slope. The more I get lost in thought, the less I spend time appreciating what’s in front of me. This week, I was thinking about how I can reallocate my thinking. One thing came to mind — the future me in a decade will look back at today, and say “those were the good old days”.

Time is so relative. Yes, they say youth is wasted on the young, but I also remember having fears and doubts years ago that I don’t have today. And in the future, the things I worry about today may be minuscule.

The good old days are… today! We just may not have the perspective to connect the dots.

Happiness is a direction

I came across an interesting video featuring Dr. Arthur Brooks, a Harvard professor and social scientist.

He writes: "Happiness is a direction, not a destination. Don’t work on being happy, let’s work on getting happier. It’s more than a feeling, but a skill to practice.”

This was a fresh way of framing this concept. Growing up, I felt that happiness was a result of my life falling into place. If I achieved X, then I would be rewarded with Y.

As life naturally ebbed and flowed, it became harder to hold onto this concept. And as I grow older, I’m coming to understand Dr. Brooks’ sentiment better: happiness is a muscle that can be trained. Of course, it’s a journey that’s very personal, gradual, and doesn’t look the same for everyone.

My best way? Embracing gratitude as fully as possible. Utter appreciation of the beauty around me. How do you direct yourself?

Just Us

I finished watching Court of Gold, a docuseries that follows Team USA’s quest for basketball gold at the 2024 Paris Olympics, facing rivals like France, Serbia, and Canada.

Fantastic show. I still get chills watching the end of the Gold medal game between USA and France — where Steph Curry put on a 3-point masterclass to get us to the top of the podium. A pinch-me moment to watch the Avengers—Curry, Durant, James—all on the same floor.

One of the phrases that Durant shared stuck with me. He talks about the concept of "Just Us" — a mantra that was born during his championship seasons with the Warriors. It was a rallying cry that united the team through their grittiest times.

It made me reflect on the idea of how small, focused groups can be a deadly force. If a team can believe in each other (trust), plus connect all their skills (talent), then a dominating alchemy can form. 🏀

A Nice Indian Boy

We saw a wonderful film this week: A Nice Indian Boy.

It stars Karan Soni as Naveen, an Indian American, who brings home a white boyfriend named Jay (Jonathan Groff) to his traditional Indian family.

It’s a fantastic story that effortlessly weaves between themes of belonging, identity, expectations, and stereotypes. Growing up South Asian, it filled me with emotion — as many of us grappled with what “nice” and “Indian” meant.

I left the movie thinking about two things. 1) love is boundless and 2) parents might surprise you when given the chance to grow.

My favorite scene was when Naveen’s dad, Archit, and Jay cook dinner together. Archit is a man of few words and struggles with his feelings towards the situation. Eventually, their connection grows. Archit says that his son Naveen has always been able to recognize beauty in the world, and he now sees so much beauty in Jay.

Highly recommend a watch! Congrats to the director Roshan Sethi for his great work.

Admiration

There are days I’m in absolute awe of people. Their skills are fantastic, their presence is unmatched, and their talent feels boundless.

And at times, that awe is mixed with pangs of envy. You feel green as you yearn—“Why not me?” or “How did they get that?” It’s a negative emotion that can be consuming and corrosive.

One small change I’ve been trying is shifting my perspective from jealousy to admiration. When I feel the bitterness bubbling up, I reframe my thinking: What do I admire about this person?

Then I take it a step further and tell them: “I admire [X trait] about you a lot—would you be open to sharing any tips or advice?”

It’s done wonders for releasing the pressure valve. And I’ve found that many talented people are also benevolent. Sharing our gifts lifts everyone up! ⬆️

Pieces of Me

I was thinking of a quotation Michelle Obama referenced in her book The Light We Carry.

It was a quote about friendship from novelist Toni Morrison, paraphrased here: “Friendship takes the pieces of me and gives them back in the right order.”

What a beautiful sentiment. A good friend can accept whatever version of you shows up — no matter how messy. And they’ll quietly sit with you, unpacking everything piece by piece, until you feel sorted again.

It’s a blessing to be loved like that. Grateful for those in my corner! 🙏

BoD

I was reflecting this week on having a personal board of directors (BoD). Every corporation has a board to guide the CEO and steer the company to success. Can it be applied to personal life?

A group of trusted loved ones who provide advice, share unconditional support, and challenge your thinking. And of course, celebrate your wins and recognize successes!

All in service to help you become the best version of yourself. If you want to go fast, go alone; if you want to go far, go together. Who’s on your board? 🤝

XXXV

I turn 35 today! A good moment to reflect on the midpoint of my thirties. Endless gratitude for what this life has given me so far.

35 in numerology encourages creative exploration, embracing change, and enjoying life’s adventures.

Some reflections entering this year:

• Remember yourself. As I get older, I am spending more time noticing—noticing what lifts me up, what pulls me down, where my energy crests and falls.  Demands and forces only grow from here, so a question: what am I doing to return to center? Am I living my truth?

• Some kind of wonderful. I am excited to marry Tanvi in a few months. Not only because she’s lovely in so many ways; but also simply because we have a wonderful friendship—filled with equal parts silly and serious. What a beautiful treat to come home to a partner where you can just “be”. A reminder to protect this space and keep it safe.

• All we need. When the dust settles, what we needed was not far from home. A sound body, a calm mind, and a house full of love. After that, it’s cherries and whipped cream. So in moments of stress, despair or doubt—I need to ask myself: what am I really chasing?

As always, I am forever thankful for those on the road with me. Y’all make the moments magic 🪄 To many more years together!

Past years: 34, 33, 32, 31, 30

Mastery

I’ve been thinking about some of my all-time greats: Buffett, Spielberg, Jordan, Angelou.

Masters of their craft. Pouring decades to reach the peak of achievement. All are meticulous about practice, discipline, and learning.

To become a master, I often return to the idea of flow state. When you’re focused, energized, and immersed— skills can exponentially catalyze. Total absorption: where you lose track of time because you can’t help yourself.

For my goals, I want to continue to find pockets to harness this. Where have you found your flow?